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Miss Wilkes
Don't Bother (Two Stars)


NICOLE
WHEN SWIPING RIGHT GOES WRONG ★★☆☆☆ (Don’t Bother) Director: James Schroeder 2019 If you’re a fan of the Lifetime channel, you will...


SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE
BOOBS, BUTTS, AND BABES ★★☆☆☆ (Don’t Bother) Director: Amy Holden Jones 1982 Forget nerdy teens fighting off serial killers at prom or...


STAGE FRIGHT
AN OWL USES HIS JAZZ HANDS TO COMMIT MURDER ★★☆☆☆ (Don’t Bother) Directed by Michael Soavi 1987 I have a large list of potentially...

JAWS: THE REVENGE
A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN NAVIGATES HER GRIEF AND FINDS LOVE AGAIN. AND THERE'S A SHARK. ★★☆☆☆ (Don’t Bother) Director: Joseph Sargent 1987...

THE NESTING
BEHOLD! THE KAREN OF HORROR! ★★☆☆☆ (Don’t Bother) Director: Armand Weston 1981 For every Laurie Strode or Ripley, there’s an overly...

THE HORRIBLE HOUSE ON THE HILL
A REALLY GOOD ARGUMENT FOR THE CHILD-FREE MOVEMENT ★★☆☆☆ (Don’t Bother) Director: Sean MacGregor, David Sheldon 1974 Children as killers...


BINGO HELL
LUPITA IS NOT GOING TO LET DEMONIC DEVELOPERS TAKE AWAY HER BINGO NIGHT ★★☆☆☆ (Don’t Bother) Director: Gigi Saul Guerrero 2021 As a...

THE PALE DOOR
COWPOKE BROTHERS FIND THEMSELVES IN A WITCHY SITUATION ★★☆☆☆ (Don’t Bother) Director: Aaron B. Koontz 2020 There’s a moment in The Pale...

CLOVERFIELD
NEVER WAS THERE A STORY OF MORE WOE, THAN THIS OF A HIPSTER AND HER ROMEO ★★☆☆☆ (Don’t Bother) Director: Matt Reeves 2008 I‘ve ripped on...

THE FOG
YO HO, HO, HUM ★★☆☆☆ (Don’t Bother) Director: John Carpenter 1980 We know giant monsters don’t rise from oceans and we know dead people...

BLOOD AND CHOCOLATE
A WOLF GIRL DESTINED FOR GREATNESS FALLS IN LOVE WITH A HUMAN ★★☆☆☆ (Don’t Bother) Director: Katja von Garnier 2007 Vivian has a secret:...

DARK WATERS
NUNS ON AN ISLAND ARE UP TO NO GOOD ★★☆☆☆ (Don’t Bother) Director: Mariano Baino 1993 A beautiful woman named Elizabeth (Louise Salter)...

TRICK OR TREATS
DON'T TELL MOM THE BABYSITTER'S DEAD ★★☆☆☆ (Don’t Bother) Director: Gary Graver 1982 Having escaped a mental hospital on Halloween night,...

ZOMBI 2
A ZOMBIE FIGHTS A SHARK ★★☆☆☆ (Don’t Bother) Director: Lucio Fulci 1979 Zombi 2 (also called Zombie) is not really a sequel to anything...


LATE FEE
TWO LOVEBIRDS RENT A MOVIE FROM...SATAN? ★★☆☆☆ (Don’t Bother) Director: John Carchietta, Carl Morano 2009 A couple wants to rent a DVD on...

QUEEN OF THE DAMNED
I VANT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD...AND BE IN YOUR MUSIC VEEDEO. ★★☆☆☆ (Don't Bother) Director: Michael Rymer 2002 One of the most gruesome...

THE BURNING
AN ANGRY CAMP JANITOR TRIES TO KILL GEORGE COSTANZA ★★☆☆☆ (Don’t Bother) Director: Tony Maylam 1981 The Burning is an okay film if you’re...

HOLIDAY HELL
FINALLY. A CRAPPY HORROR MOVIE FOR THE HANUKKAH CROWD. ★★☆☆☆ (Don’t Bother) Director: Jeff Vigil, Jeff Ferrell, David Burns, Jeremy Berg...

WISH UPON
ONE OF CLARE'S LOVED ONES DIE EVERY TIME SHE MAKES A WISH. CLARE DOES NOT CARE. ★★☆☆☆ (Don’t Bother) Director: John R. Leonetti 2017 On a...

BLOOD BEAT
"HEY, MOM AND DAD. MEET MY NEW GIRLFRIEND. SHE'S POSSESSED BY A SAMURAI GHOST." ★★☆☆☆ (Don’t Bother) Director: Fabrice A. Zaphiratos 1983...
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