A WEREWOLF DRIVES A MOTORCYCLE, AND THAT'S ALL THAT NEEDS TO BE SAID
★★★☆☆ (Good for One Viewing)
Director: Michel Levesque
1971
Werewolves on Wheels is a snapshot of a time that will never happen again unless there’s an apocalypse and road warriors take over. Bands of grizzled men who ride hogs with their “old ladies” as they terrorize shopkeepers, do acid, and have drunk orgies without consequence is the kind of trouble you only see in the 1970s. Werewolves on Wheels is Easy Rider for the horror fanatic, a movie that gives you everything the post-hippie era is known for: freedom of youth, groovy visuals, biker lingo, mysticism, a woman dancing naked with a snake, and a refreshing brotherhood between men who aren’t afraid to admit their love for one another. This bond is tested when one of them becomes a werewolf.
I laughed when I wrote that.
SPOILERS We don’t know where these men came from or where they’re going, and perhaps they themselves have no plan. The desert is their home for now, and beer and pot their food. A fire keeps them warm at night and sometimes they’ll find a junked out car to sleep in, if they don’t want to burn it for fun. They have names like Pill, Movie, and Tarot, and their choppers are their steeds as they look for entertainment. All this free-wheelin’ partying comes to an end when they reach a lonely satanic temple with monks who are not allowed to speak to them. A man named One is their voice, and he offers the bikers homemade bread and wine, a ruse meant to make the men pass out so that one of the old ladies can be kidnapped and turned into Satan’s bride. This is when Werewolves on Wheels falls headfirst into a psychedelic rabbit hole. The woman chosen as the bride dances with a snake and skull to the sound of cymbals and chanting while the bikers sleep and the minions make a statue meant to…I’m not sure. I still don’t know what that statue is for, all I know is that when Adam (Stephen Oliver)—her boyfriend and the biker gang’s leader—comes to rescue her, the statue melts and a curse turns one of them into a nighttime lycanthrope. That’s just the first act of the film.
“BANDS OF GRIZZLED MEN WHO RIDE HOGS WITH THEIR ‘OLD LADIES’ AS THEY TERRORIZE SHOPKEEPERS, DO ACID, AND HAVE DRUNK ORGIES WITHOUT CONSEQUENCE IS THE KIND OF TROUBLE YOU ONLY SEE IN THE 1970S.”
Not everyone is surprised by this furry revelation. Even before a biker and his woman are gnawed to death under a beautiful moon, one person knew the score, and it wasn’t the gang’s leader Adam, but Tarot—a mellow fortune teller who’s just like, one with the earth, man. Reminding me of Billy in Predator, Tarot (Deuce Barry) is a level-headed guy without acid, someone who can stoically see something not-so-groovy on the horizon. While the other characters are set up to be obvious snacks, Tarot has a strong presence that makes us believe he might survive, or at least hold the key to saving our heroes from disappearing under the desert sand.
Werewolves on Wheels can have the feel of a documentary of the chopper culture of the 70s, so when we finally get the big reveal of the wolf, this supernatural element is a joke, an actor who stumbled in from an Abbott and Costello film. That doesn’t mean the following scenes aren’t a blast. A person in a hairy costume flies through the air on a motorcycle while on fire—and I want to point out here that I’m very concerned a stunt double burned to death in the making of this film. Werewolves on Wheels promises some furry action, but perhaps not enough for true fans of werewolf media. My recommendation for this movie is mostly based on the grittiness of its subjects and how enticing they make the open road look. It will never look like that again.
GENRES: Atmospheric, Monster/Creature
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