A COLLEGE STUDENT USES HER WITS TO SURVIVE THE APOCALYPSE
★★★★☆ (Worth the Watch)
Director: Jeff Brown
2019
I'm very picky about modern horror films focused on teenagers. Surely, you also feel like 99% of them are rehashes of better vintage films, either using the same template of character or moving the same jigsaw puzzle pieces around to create something new. The Beach House looks like standard teens-in-peril fare on the surface, but underneath is an irresistible underdog story that sucks you in.
We start with comely teenagers Emily and Randall making out on a bed in an isolated beach house, and knowing how these movies work, I was prepared to roll my eyes for the next hour. After college-dropout Randall tells his girlfriend to quit school so they can hang out all day, they hear a noise downstairs, and find a middle-aged couple already inhabiting the house. Both couples decide to share the cottage but it’s not long before everyone’s vacation goes south. Remember that eye-rolling? Never happened, not once. With every scene, this movie takes further steps in a direction away from formulaic horror, and those steps are so subtle, I was halfway through when I realized The Beach House crept in and hooked me.
That night, the older couple agrees to partake in Randall’s party favors, but Emily (played by Liana Liberato) pushes back. She majors in organic chemistry, she’s that girl in the neighborhood you knew was going to make something of herself, she’s the kid who talks to adults at parties. As her boyfriend pressures her to drop out of school or get high, you want to tell her to run. Randall is a feckless young man who doesn’t appreciate what a gem of a girlfriend he has. He doesn’t want to work for “the man” and feels as if he has a greater purpose, but we all know he’s like every other college kid who drops out for philosophical reasons that translate to bullshit posturing to save one’s ego. He can never admit when he’s wrong, and this is important. Emily should break up with him and grab the car and run, but like any typical teenage girl, she doesn’t know how to let go of her first love.
Despite her sensible protests, Emily gives in to peer-pressure and gets high with the others, eventually blacking out. When she wakes there’s a strange fog and her friends are missing, and as the movie become a life-or-death struggle, we figure out that Emily is the only mature one in the house—though for reasons I won’t divulge, I can understand why the older couple is not using their heads. She figures out what’s going on, she manages to find breathable air, she sterilizes a wound with vinegar. Emily is the number one reason to watch The Beach House. In this movie, you don’t simply feel bad for a likable young heroine (I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House, We Are What We Are), you actually root for her in the same way you root for smart girl Laurie Strode as she valiantly fights Michael Myers away from the kids. In some ways, I rooted for Emily more because she does everything right to survive this event.
“EMILY SHOULD BREAK UP WITH HIM AND GRAB THE CAR AND RUN, BUT LIKE ANY TYPICAL TEENAGE GIRL, SHE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO LET GO OF HER FIRST LOVE.”
Perfectly timed at 88 minutes, the movie leaves you disoriented and satisfied. There’s nothing extraneous, no scene that should have been cut, and the special effects are great for a low-budget film. I’m going to admit, I got a little teary-eyed at the end. I was like Jerry Seinfeld when he rubs his eyes and asks, “What is this salty discharge?” Please seek out and watch The Beach House, if only to connect with a heroine in a way you haven’t in a long time. Emily is a smart cookie whose only mistake in this movie is not knowing her own worth until it’s too late, and that’s a lesson many young women can learn.
GENRES: Apocalypse, Feminist-Friendly, Teens in Peril
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