top of page

THE BEACH GIRLS AND THE MONSTER

A MONSTER IS OUT TO RUIN A BEACH BUM'S FUN



★★★☆☆ (Good for One Viewing)

Director: John Fawcett

2000




The year was 1965 and teeny-bopper beach parties were in full swing. Annette Funicello and Tommy Kirk and Frankie Avalon were all surfin’ U.S.A., and making an average of $1 million at the box office, so anyone with a camera wanted in on the action. These were also the days of drive-in’s and their spooky movies, so writer Joan Gardner and director Jon Hall decided to go all in on both with The Beach Girls and the Monster (also called Surf Terror). Sadly, the final product flopped, but this doesn’t mean the “horror” movie isn’t worth your time, because it is.


The Beach Girls and the Monster is a terrible film that entertains, a movie that doesn’t understand story structure in the best way. You expect schlock, and you get it, but as you watch, all your expectations for the predictable beats of a bad surf or horror film of this era are replaced by surprising changes in tone. This supposed scary movie about a cone-headed sea creature is really a soap opera about a car accident, a stepmother seducing her stepson, and an artist in love with his subject. I had fun sitting back and watching the carnage. And just as a scene ends on a serious note, we get a peek of the monster, or a swinging performance of Frank Sinatra Jr’s. “Dance Baby Dance” (this song is played three times), or footage of the cast and crew hanging out between takes. For so many reasons, The Beach Girls and the Monster is so bad, it’s good.



SPOILERS Our hero Richard (Arnold Lessing) is a young man whose recent brush with death has him rethinking his whole life. For the longest time, he wanted to be like his oceanographer father, but now surfing and beach bumming are his passions. Richard tells his friends he now wants to settle down with a wife and hang ten, and it’s looking like his best girl Jane might be in the running. Jane is a Gilligan’s Mary Anne, a sweet and feisty love interest who playfully teases her boyfriend. Hopefully nothing happens to divide this nice couple…


Richard’s father Otto (director Jon Hall) has a problem with his son’s lack of work ethic. Daddy-o is a stuffy authoritarian who wants Richard to come back to the lab, blaming all the “loafers” and “tramps” for influencing the teen’s new breezy lifestyle. But both Richard and Otto have a bigger problem than miscommunication, and that problem’s name is Vicky (Sue Casey). Recently wed to Otto, this hussy hits on her stepson and goes out on dates to spite her husband. I couldn’t tell you why. “Save some of that jazz for Dad!” Richard snaps at her as he thwarts her advances. She cackles and sneers and speaks in sexual innuendo. She’s so evil, a trumpet plays when she slinks across the screen. The character of Vicky is so exaggerated, she might as well be wearing a sandwich board that says, “I Am a Villain."


She also hassles Otto for letting Richard’s friend Mark stay at their home, but her husband points out that Richard still feels guilt for the accident that caused Mark to walk with a limp. Mark doesn’t seem to want to leave for his own reasons. The guy uses that old trick of claiming to be an artist so he can get private time with Vicky, who torments him with her flirting. Sometimes Mark stares at his hilariously bad sculpture of Vicky’s face and murmurs her name while glancing at his crotch. Sometimes he wanders the beach while sadly watching teenagers have their fun. But that damn limp. Poor Mark just wants to dance with the groovy cats shaking their bare midriffs at the camera.


In the end, Vicky threatens Otto with divorce—“You knew what you were paying for,” she hisses—while Richard escapes his broken home by hanging out with his friends at a beach party. After a puppet sings a tune, Jane is serenaded by Richard and his guitar.


And there’s a sea monster.



If you’re looking for scares and kills, you will be disappointed because we see the aquatic creature for a total of five minutes. Maybe seven. The pleasure in viewing The Beach Girls and the Monster comes from all the mistakes. Normally the plot points in this sort of horror flick would be, in order:


1. Teen Drama

2. Monster Attacks

3. Boys Fight Over Girl

4. Monster Attacks

5. Beatnik Beach Party

6. Monster Attacks

7. Surf Contest

8. Monster is Killed


Rinse and repeat. There’s none of that here. After the first murder by what Otto and another scientist believe is a fantigua fish—possibly enlarged by radiation, of course—we are whisked from dramatic scene to dramatic scene, some involving Richard’s tumultuous home life, some involving seaweed and bongos. A surprise ending and a goofy chase makes The Beach Girls and the Monster all worth while. You don’t have to be a loafer or a tramp to enjoy this bad movie.







GENRE: Monster/Creature, Teens in Peril


NO AI TRAINING: Without in any way limiting the author’s [and publisher’s] exclusive rights under copyright, any use of this website's (nicolinatorres.com) blog posts or publications to “train” generative artificial intelligence (AI) technologies to generate text is expressly prohibited. The author reserves all rights to license uses of this work for generative AI training and development of machine learning language models.

Recent Posts

See All

NICOLE

bottom of page